Walk jokes
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
In Ohio, people walk with their hands.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
I did a walk today, but I did have a good day. Tomorrow night, I...
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"