Walk jokes
What is a woman?
A walking vagina who nags.
What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?
Femoids.
Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"
James Bond walks into a saloon where Michael J. Fox is tending bar. He says, "I’ll have a martini, shaken, not stirred."
Michael turns to him and says, "How else would I serve it?"
A man walks into a bar and places a 12-inch man onto the counter as well as a small piano. The 12-inch man starts playing the piano really well.
The bartender asks the man where he got the 12-inch man. The man says there is a genie two blocks around the corner.
The bartender runs to the genie and makes a wish. The bartender comes back with 1 million ducks. The bartender says to the man, "That genie is dumb! I asked for 1 million bucks."
The man says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
My friends think I'm bipolar. I threw a pencil case at someone and I walked out, walked back in 2 seconds later and I was sunshines and rainbows.
I walk into school, and look up praying.
"Man, would be a shame if the buildings fell from an airplane."
Nothing happened. There is no God.
Yo momma is so fat that the ground shakes a lot as she walks.
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.
Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
What's a Mexican's favorite song?
"I Walk the Line."
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.