A man walks into a bar.
Then he walks into a Pole.
Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we."
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know its going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to were the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "you know what brother? I would also like a coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each others shoes and peeing in each others cokes?"
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
LLB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land cos Shrek likes to poop
Shrek- should I pull the trap
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
6 Germans walk into a BAR... and only three walk out.
A guy is walking down the street, when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "looks like shit." Crouches down and smells it, "smells like shit." Sticks his finger in, tastes it, "tastes like shit." He then smiled and said, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it".
i walked up to some Arabs and said alawakba, then here came the second tower.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking
diddy and hawk tuah walk into a bar hawk tuah say spit on that thang only one walk out💀
a jew and jew walk in bar goy say what u want jew say give it alcohol jew say my son run away and become christian another jew pipe in he say my son too bar tender turn around he say “u not gonna believe this...”
An optimist says, "the glass is half full." A pessimist says, "the glass if half empty." A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air." Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water."
What do two priest say to each other when they walk into an orphanage let us pray
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking, Stephen walking
Walking with a friend the in the dark is better than walking alone in the in the light
Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"
Your dad is so fat he walks past the TV I miss 3 episodes of South Park
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
