Walk jokes

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Two Chinese men walk into a bar.

"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."

In Ohio, people walk with their hands.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

Happy was a cute hippo.

Happy sleeps in the water.

Happy walks on land.

Happy runs on Savannahs.

Happy swims in mud.

Happy takes a bath.

I did a walk today, but I did have a good day. Tomorrow night, I...

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!

Child: I am hungry.

Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!

Child: *groans* *walks away*

So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"

Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"

If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.

When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?