Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
So I walked into this bar and thought, "Wow, this is a dull joke."
I don't like jokes.
Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.
Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"
Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"
"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
