What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
After all these walkers, you still walk over me.
I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.
I did a good walk and I...
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
