Walk jokes

Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.

A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!" The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!

A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”

The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

So I walked into this bar and thought, "Wow, this is a dull joke."

I don't like jokes.

Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

What is always moving but we never see it walk?

Time! Hahahaha!

When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”

I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?