Walk jokes
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... J.K. Rowling.
A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"
"Baking a cake."
The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.
"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."
Two baby seals walk into a club.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"