Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
What do you do with a dog that have no legs, - Take him for a drag
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
So three retards walk into a classroom...
Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
