Vs jokes
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers? The Tower of Pisa is more flexible.
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?
Not much difference.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.