Vs jokes
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
TDS? More like STDs.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.