Vs jokes
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?
Not too sure. I just fly the drone.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.