Visit jokes
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"
Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."
I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.
Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some MONEY MOVES.
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get a fresh set of GRILLZ.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"
Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
A guy walked into a bar.
A guy walked out of a bar.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."