Visit jokes
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
Why did the rapper go to the bank? (Part 2)
To WITHDRAW some BEATS.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.