Violence

Violence jokes

My favorite sex position is the JFK:

I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.

I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

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  • The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

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  • What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

    One at the bottom that's still alive.

    What's worse than that?

    It's forced to eat its way out.

    What's even worse than that?

    It comes back for seconds.

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  • How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?

    I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?

    A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.

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  • What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?

    The Boston marathon finish line.

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  • My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

    I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

    no one could tell that it was their blood.

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