Violence jokes

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

Go commit neck rope.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

What's white, red, and screams a lot?

A baby in a blender.

There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.

A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.

Why did Sally fall out the window?

She was pushed.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!

What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"

She said, "Sniff, yes."

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.