Violence jokes

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've told her twice.

When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

How did I kill Georgee?

I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?

A frog in a blender.

What's the difference between a pizza & a person?

A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

Go commit neck rope.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

What's white, red, and screams a lot?

A baby in a blender.

There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.

A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.

Why did Sally fall out the window?

She was pushed.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!