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Violence

Violence jokes

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

  • 0

    • How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw the baby.

    What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.

  • 5

    • A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.

    The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.

  • 1

    • My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

  • 5

    • I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.

    Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

  • 0

    • What do you call a nine year old with no friends?

    A Sandy Hook survivor.

    An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

    if you throw it hard enough.

    What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

    He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.