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Violence

Violence jokes

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."

I said, "You wanna bet?"

Bam, a gunshot!

  • 0

    • Where did Sally go after the gunshot?

    6 feet under.

    *That is how deep they put the coffin...*

    When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

  • 9

    • What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

    A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

  • 2

    • What's the difference between me and cancer?

    My dad didn't beat cancer.