Vehicle jokes
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Memes
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.