Vehicle jokes
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
" I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL MOMMY!"
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos