Vehicle jokes
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"