Vehicle jokes
Pinto?
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlost.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.