Vehicle jokes
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.