Vehicle jokes
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.