Vehicle jokes
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
I like fire trucks and monster trucks.
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.