Vegetable jokes
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Daikon legs.
Why did the lettuce win the race?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?