Vegetable jokes
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
Memes
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"
Why did the lettuce win the race?
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!