Vegetable jokes
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Potato.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Pickled carrots.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.