Vegetable jokes
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Do NOT buy a tomato EVER again
How is spinach like anal sex? If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
What do you call a eatable door?
- Coriander 😂
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Daikon legs.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.