Vegetable jokes
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What do you call a eatable door?
- Coriander 😂
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"