Vegetable jokes
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
Memes
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
What do you call a eatable door?
- Coriander 😂
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
Daikon legs.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"