Vegetable jokes
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Spinach
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Potato.
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.