Vegetable jokes
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Memes
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Bean.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.