Vegetable jokes
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Bean.
Memes
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.