Vegetable jokes
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
Memes
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Bean.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.