Vegetable

Vegetable jokes

Carrot

Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?

Because he was grounded.

Pear

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

Beet

What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?

Beets stain your teeth.

Onion

I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

Memes

Donkey

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

Food

"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.

Difference

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

Lettuce

Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!

Fight

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

Tomato

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Onion

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.

Onion

I cried when my mom started to cut up onions... onions was a good dog.