I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
Vegetable Jokes
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Bean.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
I cried when my mom started to cut up onions... onions was a good dog.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
