Vegetable jokes
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Pickled carrots.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Bean.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.