Vegetable jokes
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Pickled carrots.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Bean.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.