Vegetable jokes
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Michelle Obama wanted more vegetables in school.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕