Vegetable jokes
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
What do you do with a frozen vegetable?
You wait for it to thaw.
My mum's a carrot.
I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?