I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEĂ‘O BUSINESS!
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Pickled carrots.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Bean.
