Vegetable jokes
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Michelle Obama wanted more vegetables in school.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.