Vegetable jokes
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"