Vegetable jokes
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!