Vegetable Jokes

This disabled kid walked up to me so I asked what disease he had. He said Lima. So I said, come again? And he said Lima nuts and I asked if that was a fruit and he said. No I'm a vegetable.

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road? A: Cause someone let go of the handle bars

What do you do with a frozen vegetable? You wait for it to thaw

WHat store has the most vegetables... A nursing home

Today i went to get a sub and they asked me if i wanted all vegetables.. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

who is the coolest vegetable rad-ish of course

What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?

"Dance to the beet, y'all!"

What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?

Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.

Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie. Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest. Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout! If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in. I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram? If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion.

the reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.

If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose tell his family he/she was a fruit now he/she's a vegetable at least there still in the produce section

A cannibal went to the dietitian and he got told to eat more vegetables so he ate a disabled person

What Do you Call a homosexual in a Coma?

A Fruit & a Vegetable

What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup. The wheelchair.

In the hospital they need to keep the disabled patients rooms cooler than the other patients rooms. Why? They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.