Vegetable jokes
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Memes
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEĂ‘O BUSINESS!
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Pickled carrots.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.