Use jokes
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
The last two presidents of the US.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.