Use jokes
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
Memes
jay Z
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
"Among Us" is basically a game about betrayal.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?