Use jokes

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

How's your day going?

Shut up, I didn't ask.

Use code tiko#teamfish

What operating system do Indian scammers use?

"Window licker XP."

What did Santa use as a candy cane?

Wait, wait, I said it wrong.

Okay.

What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.

Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.

The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.

The guys show up and the guards shoot them.

The guys die because the guards used real guns.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.

Weird.

Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.

How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?

They were always using pyramid schemes!

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?

Panera Lead.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?

What does Biden do? He does you.

What does do something useful unlike you?

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

How did the guy rob the water park?

He used a water gun!

LOL 💦🔫💧🌊