Use jokes
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Memes
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.