Use jokes
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
Yo mama so stupid, she used a fork to save the milk from the cereal.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
There is only one reason why I find women useful.
That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.