Use jokes
I used to be a fan, but after seeing her OnlyFans account, I'm a whole air conditioner.
Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?
So they can be connected.
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Ching chong kading dong.
(My best words ever used).
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
Trump: "That's right."
Obama: "Mitch wrote it."
Biden: "I'm voting for Curzon."
President Obama: "French Fries."
"Yes, the environment in Michigan is great," Biden said.
Trump: "It's funny, but it's good."
Biden: "You're not going to like it."
President Trump: "We're smart, we're smart, we're smart."
Biden: "I'm not the Joker."
Trump: "Obama, can I have a PS6?"
Obama: "Yeah, that's a good idea."
Biden: "I have to use shampoo, but when I play PS6 I like to use dirt."
Trump: "Oh my god, Whitehead is here."
Obama: "Green Sisters."
Biden: "Really? He's a good friend."
Trump: "It's a good joke, but it's funny."
"No, it's a joke, and it's not a good joke," Biden said.
"Moon, horse, moon," President Obama said.
Biden: "I don't know what to do, I don't want to do it, I don't know what to do."
Trump: "That's right, very good."
Obama: "If answer farah is four to rethink ares inmar."
Biden: "That's another story."
Obama: "Arcand Moxon."