Use jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker đź–• that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Memes
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
What flowers do orphans use?...
Self-raising flour.
"Among Us," dada.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.