Use jokes
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Please write your comment.
But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps