Use jokes

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."

Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?

They both use strap on tools.

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?

A: An Epstein pen.

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”