Use jokes

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

A student says: "Bacon!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

A student says: "Eggs!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

A student says: "Homework!"

The whole class laughs.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

What games do monks play a lot?

Among Us.

Clarissa is here with us.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use, you wouldn't get it.

A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.