Use jokes
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Memes
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?