Use jokes

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

A student says: "Bacon!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

A student says: "Eggs!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

A student says: "Homework!"

The whole class laughs.

What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?

They both use strap on tools.

You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.

My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"

There used to be Wonder Woman.

Now we wonder, what is a woman?

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

What do lesbians love to use in art class?

Scissors.

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.