Use Jokes

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

Why is LeBron James an orphan?

Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!

Tazzaro got me like: 😂

Orphans got me like: 😂

jokes got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."