Use jokes

Beating the Akatsuki is easy... Naruto should've used painkillers instead. :)

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

Don’t bother me none, babe!

Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

“Hol up”

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?

They're both gay and use knives.

What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?

They're both gay and use knives.

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

Dutch Boy.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."