Ups jokes

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.

But I got seven Up.

I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?

The Twin Towers gave up and let down.

Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?

Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.

Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."