This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's red, small, wet and crawls up your leg? - A homesick abortion
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach? It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Imagine Steven hawkings was the real slim shady but could not stand up
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How do you wake up lady gaga? Poker Face.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!!
Why does no-one look up at Steven hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none they both go up in flames.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand
there's two types of emo people
1. people that cut side to side
2. and people that cut up and down
the most efficient is up and down
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset, she said it’s to small, so that’s all, but later that day, he wanted to say, every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lieing, she started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all, everyone said, fly away big chunky balls.
- I think you ́re EGGcellent. + Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you`re a EGGxtraordinary comedian. - Really? Are you done yet?. + Are you kidding? a have a DOZEN of them.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Stephen Hawkins was one of the best scientists ever, Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven
one man walks up to another and says hey did you here about the kidnapping at main street the guy says no the other guy says oh he woke up
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs. He asks her why she is crying and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her then jogs away.
The next day he finds her crying again and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up...and throws her in the pond telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
