Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both canβt hear their parents.
Why canβt an orphan go to Family Dollar? They donβt have a family.
Donβt mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Kobe couldnβt clutch up with the rift to go.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
My sisterβs birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! π©
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Itβs so sad because Stephen Hawking canβt even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
