Ups jokes

OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.

The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.

Gwen, you need to shut up, for once!

This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."

Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.

Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.

Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.

What did the math acorn say when it grew up?

"Gee-I'm-a-tree."

"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!