Ups jokes

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Why don't orphans go home at pickup?

Because they don't have parents to pick them up.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.