One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A CRACK-UP
Wait this is the category dick sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up
How do u lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow
What do you call a booty that tells jokes?
A CRACK-UP
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop CRACKING UP
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up
What is a terrorists favorite song?
Pumped up kicks.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
A Son walks up to his Dad and says "I'm so gay right now! "HOW COULD YOU, I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" Screams the Dad. "No, Gay as in HAPPY" Says the confused Son,"I'm so happy right now!" "Oh" says the Dad, "Why are you happy?" Then the Son said "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off"
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says: 'Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears, says 'But doctor... I am Pagliacci.'
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You CRACK me up"
What did the rapper say to his BLENDER?
"Mix it up, yo"
I don’t know why I go to the gym being healthy is dying fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
you're dad is so fucking fat that when he bends over and comes back up its the next day
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. I’m breaking up with you bitch.
