Ups

Ups Jokes

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!