Who makes the best anteaters??? Uncle's..(Aunt eaters)
mom said dad had the best pullout game... now im an uncle
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.- Someone very special that needs there joke to be seen
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas. -herpes
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger. Mommy is that Uncle Joe?
My uncle is an alchemist
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse
Or is she asking her son, “Do you know Newton?” The boy said, “No, I don’t know.” She said to him, “If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!!” The boy said, “Ok, do you know Ikhlod?” She said to him, “No, who is she?” He said to her, “If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her.” The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
I broke up with my RBLX gf and I heard my uncle crying in the other room
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Before my grandad died he whispered to me is your uncle still in the basement i said he has died oh my grandad said i will lock him in heavens basement
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands? They can both do dirty things
My mother was so sad after my grandpas death she went into the bathroom with my uncle and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on saying that she was pregnant.
“Daddy, what are those 2 things on mum’s chest?”. Asked Tom “Those are just....balloons”.said dad (Later) “Dad! I think mum’s dying!”said Tom. “Why?” Asked dad. “Because uncles blowing her balloons and she said “oh god im cumming!”
I once was playing with my friend and roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. i broke up with her and unfriended him then i saw my mom and my uncle crying! Me be like : ;-;
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11. My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked. "Daddy why are you banned from coming to elementary school?", The dad calmly replies. "Because that's how I met your mother.".