Uncle Jokes

My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why.....he said so I could be extinct😭😭

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best piolot in iraq

I remember my uncles last words: "I don't think were going shooting today."

The last time I had flying lessons I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...

My uncle died in the 9-11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked. "Daddy why are you banned from coming to elementary school?", The dad calmly replies. "Because that's how I met your mother.".

Who makes the best anteaters??? Uncle's..(Aunt eaters)

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas. -herpes

When your uncle drops a nickel but the only thing he really drops is his pants

Deer uncle i want my condoms

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so i cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand im glad to help

my departed uncle was a circus clown before he died

so all his friends came in one car

Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!

( Btw I never actually did this irl yet)

So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why a made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying ) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.

I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!

My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.