New Uncle Jokes

Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?...... That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle

this is not a joke but if your uncle tells you, "{ bend over, touch your toes, i'll show you were the monster goes." don't do it hehhehehehehe.

Whens only time rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncles cock in his mouth.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off? A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

What’s worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.

Wants worse than ants in you pants

Your uncle

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat his batting

2. Mother called,

To go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

What is Spiderman's favourite rice Uncle Ben

Your gf/bf says: "Im dating your uncle..." Your start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Dam"

The reason why in the US there emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed rip best pilot ever

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair

I once was playing with my friend and roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. i broke up with her and unfriended him then i saw my mom and my uncle crying! Me be like : ;-;

My uncle is an alchemist

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse

I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.