Uncle Jokes

High school crush: why do you always look so sad? Me: my mom is dead and my favorite grandma and my uncle killed both of them and now he's in jail. High school crush: shit. Sorry about that. Me: and my crush hasent asked me out. High school crush: who is it Me: you Him: goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back) Me: fuck that

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

my uncle died in 9/11 he was in the plane that crashed in the feild

I would rather do my own laundry not my uncle"s laundry because I ain"t no damn butler like Alfred from batman i don't live in no damn batcave by Gotham tity.

My uncle got really badly burned the other day. They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

My uncle sayEd to me once ur my favorite child and I said u mean Nece he said no my favorite child

You know having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

hi my name is uncle joe and i like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

what's the difference between u your uncle your dad one didn't go in the closet

The reason why in the US there emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed rip best pilot ever

my uncle died on 9 11. her last words were Allah Ackbar.

Stephen Hawking is to wheel chairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat his batting

2. Mother called,

To go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Your gf/bf says: "Im dating your uncle..." Your start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Dam"

my uncle died in 9/11. he was great pilot.

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family: " My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans and my uncle against the Argentinians." The friend replied: " It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!" GPerri Milano