My mother was so sad after my grandpas death she went into the bathroom with my uncle and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on saying that she was pregnant.
“Daddy, what are those 2 things on mum’s chest?”. Asked Tom “Those are just....balloons”.said dad (Later) “Dad! I think mum’s dying!”said Tom. “Why?” Asked dad. “Because uncles blowing her balloons and she said “oh god im cumming!”
so my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child i was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me i was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friends uncle killed my dad . the kid was never seen again . her name was Madeleine McCann i think im the only one who knows where she is but overall the head from the hooker was good
my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
Whats the difference between my ass and the todlers in my uncles basement
My ass dosent cry when he stickes it in late at night
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
( Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why a made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying ) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!
What is Spiderman's favourite rice Uncle Ben
All these 911 jokes need to stop My uncle died in 911 atleast he died doing what he loves Flying planes
Stop making 9/11 jokes guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes my uncle died in 9/11... He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
hi my name is uncle joe and i like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said my uncle just calls this shhhhh
The reason why in the US there emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed rip best pilot ever
what's the difference between u your uncle your dad one didn't go in the closet
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat his batting
2. Mother called,
To go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
Your gf/bf says: "Im dating your uncle..." Your start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Dam"
my uncle died in 9/11. he was great pilot.
