Turn jokes
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.