Turn jokes
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
Aw hell naw,
dey turned Spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Memes
God is you... If you have a dog
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
How do rappers stay cool in the studio?
They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!