Turn jokes
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
How do rappers stay cool in the studio?
They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
God is you... If you have a dog
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"