Turn jokes

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"

Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.

Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?

One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"

The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!

Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?

It might turn into ICE.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.

When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.