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Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: because he wanted to call someone to call daddy.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.'"
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 your got to turn around.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
âHey, you canât leave that lyinâ there!â The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: âItâs not a lion. Itâs a giraffe.â
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. Thatâll definitely turn on the waterworks.
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
A man and a child walk into the woods, the child turns to the man and says: "Mister, can we go home, it's getting late and I'm scared to walk home". The man turns to the child and says: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about womenâs rights shouldnât go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
