You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
Turn Jokes
Aw hell naw,
dey turned Spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
