Try jokes
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
An emo tried to high-five a tree.
It left him hanging.
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Why did Naruto run fast?
Because he tried to get away from himself.
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.