Try jokes
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."