Try jokes

The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

"What's the wifi password?"

"121i362"

"It's not working."

"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"

"The United Airline."

"We're in the World Trade Center, though."

10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.

Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.

Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.

Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?

Why?

Because it would be useless. :)

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.