Try jokes

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!

Tj if you don't stop trying to ruin Gwen and Prince's relationship then I will scream!!!!!!!!!!

It's some dumb faker and what point of she just wants to be your friend do not understand!

Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

My friend tried to sleep on napkins.

I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.

Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!

Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!

And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."