If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Would you like to try African food??
They would too.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Can't wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
If at first it don't succeed try, try again.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me
why did sally get a black eye? Because she tried to play patty cake.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week." They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
a girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word oppisite word of BYE.then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
I got a roommate, he killed a butterfly and I said no butter for a week, the next day he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch nice try
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter? You can shit a load inside of a prostitute but if you try it in a shelter you get arrested.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says "my brother has just been hit by a car." The policeman replied with "OK then first I need to know your name." "Shut up" "No, I need to know your name." "Shut up." "Excuse me but where are your manners." "Round the corner picking up shit."
