Try jokes

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.

A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.

Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.

Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.

What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?

Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.

Nobody got it.

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.

Nobody still wanted them.

JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.