Try jokes

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.

Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.

Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.

The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?

Why?

Because it would be useless. :)

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.