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Orphan

    • The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.

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    • Explorer

    • When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

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    • Trophy

    • How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

    Mum

    • Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

    Peepee

    • Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

    I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

    Height

    • I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

    And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

    Son

    • Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

    I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

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    • Poo

    • Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

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